I reject your reality and substitute my own

I was convinced that I wasn't able to go into labor on my own and just like every 9 month pregnant lady, I got super antsy towards the end. But, just as labor goes, I started getting really bad contractions and bloody show on the night of the 11th. Since I was induced with Lorelai, my reaction was to freak out. If you had been on the outside looking in without volume, you would think there was a fire. My great aunt and uncle were here for a visit and I felt horrible to break it up after 15 minutes... but I was freaking. Everyone dispersed... Ty was collecting things, I was panicking... mom was trying to calm me down.

Kim and Nancy were going to watch Lo and were on their way, but again... there was a fire... I was freaking... so my aunt and uncle sat with Lo until they got there. We arrived at the hospital and got settled into a room. They hooked me up to moniter my contractions, which were pretty strong and regular. The nurse asked my pain management goals and before I really knew what I was saying, I heard myself utter the words "natural childbirth". I hadn't made a choice one way or the other so I was surprised I was so quick to blurt it out, but I'm a daring girl... figured I'd roll with it for a while.

Hours and days and years passed... ok, maybe just hours, but holy cow it felt like forever. It was rush rush rush and everyone come to the hospital and then as I'm laying in the bed with everyone staring at me like "ok, we're ready!" Well, Mabel was not ready. So as the time went on, people gave up on me and left the hospital. All that was left was Nancy, Mom and Ty. My mom and I walked the hallways, stopping as the contractions got worse and worse. Since I was having natural childbirth, I wasn't hooked up to anything and was able to take a bath. I never understood people who had water births, but now I get it. The water relieves so much of the pain!

After my first bath I was hurting bad and when I get hurting, I get GROUCHY! I was getting the hospital gown back on and a HORRID contraction came on. Ty came into the bathroom to tell me there was a nurse change and they wanted to talk to me. Seriously? I'm in the middle of a contraction, doubled over in pain, trying to breathe through it and this man, the one who did this to me in the first place, wants me to walk into the room and talk to the nurses because of a shift change? Needless to say, not nice things came out of my mouth, things that would offend most truckers. I say most because there are those ones that murder hookers and stuff them in the cargo area... I'm pretty sure it wouldn't have offended them.

So after the shift change, I was back to walking, swaying, cursing. In that order. Questioning myself but I've already said "natural childbirth" and the nurses were encouraging me and being so nice... so I kept up the charade and acted like I wanted to do this. Meanwhile "stupid, stupid, stupid" was running through my head.

Then the bomb hit... or at least that's what it felt like and suddenly the pain was more than I could bare. I knew it was time to push but wanted, no needed something to take it ease it. I don't think any mother could put the pain into words. I would imagine sticking a burning hot iron fire poker up into the nether regions would feel pretty good comparatively. The nurse got authorization to put something into my iv. To this day, I don't remember what it was. I do know it wasn't anything that took even a shred of the pain away, but it did make my head float above my body so I was able to think it through and stay in the moment.

I should mention that the nurse that was currently on duty had a nurse in training with her. This poor, poor nurse had no idea what was coming to her.

So my head is floating, they are putting my legs in stir-ups... I know my mouth is saying things I have NEVER said before in my life and I am unable to control it. I know I am embarrassing my mom and Ty because they both have this uneasy look on their face. The same look they would have if I came out of the bathroom naked in a 4 star restaurant. But I have no control, so I don't spend much time trying. I start pushing and the doctor isn't there yet and I hear someone say "stop pushing until the doctor gets here" and I really lost it. I have half of a head poking out of my vagina and you want me to stop pushing until it's more convenient for them???? NO WAY! Luckily it was at that second the doc walked in and I could resume pushing.

This is when the poor, poor NIT (nurse in training) comes into play because it was at that second that I shot a cannon of amniotic fluid all over that poor girl. Down her legs, I'm pretty sure I heard sloshing in her shoes as she walked away with the most mortified look on her face. I'm pretty sure nothing that had happened to her in her life had prepared her for that moment.

I instantly went into apologies, but there was no time because Mabel was a few pushes away. More pain and I'm telling my mom "this is just stupid, absolutely stupid" and "why am I doing this" and then the last shot of pain and she was here. Perfect, little 7lb 9 oz little Mabel. Looking nothing like her sister but weighing only a 2 ounces less and 1/2 inch taller. It was amazing, just like with Lorelai.

In the hours that followed there was a stream of people in and out to meet little Mabel but then the nurse and the NIT came in and told me I needed to go to the bathroom and get changed. Again, to this nurse, I am SOOOO sorry because as they stood me up, we quickly learned that the blood had been pooling inside me and there was a downpour. It splashed all over the poor nurse that had just changed into new scrubs. Again, the look on her face is burned into my memory and I am quite certain I am the worst patient she has ever encountered. Then my head started to float again and they were telling me to do things but I couldn't think quick enough and there was blood all over and wow. That was almost worse than the birth.

But then there was Mae... so sweet and little and REFUSING TO SLEEP!!! I hadn't slept at all the night before and I just had natural child birth and I was tired. Everyone had left to sleep and there I was with a baby that wouldn't sleep. She was crying and just wanted to suck and suck. The nurse came in and tried to get her to sleep and was unsuccessful, so she called in the lactation nurse that finally got her to sleep with the shooshing in her ear and a pacifier. She tucked her in next to me and we slept for an hour or so.

Lorelai was so quick to love her sister but so quick to get jealous too. She had been everyone's center of attention for so long and suddenly mom was glued to this baby and everyone is making a fuss over her. That started about 10 weeks of hell. Things are much, much better now. But for an entire 10 weeks, my 3 year old was replaced with the devil himself.

Anyway, that's neither here nor there because this Mae's birth story and that's how it went. Sorry for the detail, I have a bad memory and I wanted to remember every detail I have hung onto for 12 weeks. I'm sure there is much, much more that I have forgotten... but that's probably for the best. So she's here, our little Mabel Campbell Walker. She is so sweet and so kind and so quiet and is ALREADY SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT, so of course she's my favorite kid already. Just kidding mom... Lorelai is smarter so she's my favorite. ;) Ty is going to make fun of me for the next part, but we are so truly blessed. Both our girls are so beautiful and smart and easy to love. Can't wait for the next one! Right Ty????